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FINAL DRAFT
Whilst I was vacationing in Paris, a Frenchman sought me out the other day to ask me what he considered a fair query.
I dismissed him quickly as I had chapters of John Locke's manifesto to complete, and returned to my residence on the Champs-Élysées. (By the way, I must bring you with me some day. Your eyes have not dined until they have feasted upon Paris at daybreak).
His words were not quickly forgotten, however, and I have come to an important decision that will affect you and your children.
As I stare out of the window of this residence, I am reminded of the sweet taste of your fair skinned bosom. I think of the horrors I have imposed upon you, seeking you out in the dark, feeling my way through the warmth of your knickers.
And I am ashamed.
I'm sure you think me some monster, but I am not. I am merely a man with little time for the courting involved with carrying on affairs. Were I a more virile man, like that cursed Aaron Burr, strutting about with my chest poked out, always challenging people to duels, perhaps I would acquit myself better with the fairer sex.
But I have devoted my life to seeking and acquiring knowledge, and as such must seek pleasure where it finds me. I am not at all implying that this relationship (such as it is) is one of convenience, but a man of my means has had greater things to consider other than the feelings of a half-breed slave.
But no more. Effective immediately I am freeing you and your siblings. By law you have one year to leave the commonwealth of Virginia, and I will support freedom for your children as soon as they learn a skill trade.
Should you decide to remain at Monticello, I will see to it that you are relieved of your duties, and you and your heirs share lay claim, upon my passing, to your rightful throne as a member of the Jefferson Family.
I am sorry for any pain I may have caused you, and I hope in some small way, this gesture can begin to rectify the situation.
Yours truly,
Thomas
P.S. I was just stricken by the fact that I haven't yet taught you to read. Please disregard this letter.
What the heck is this assignment again?
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