Commentary Track for April 28th Buy Pile Reviews

Every week I do a column full of comic book reviews as I've done since March 2003 and currently published at Comic Book Resources. Then, after the reviews post, I try to come over to my blog and expand on the thoughts and ideas listed there. Sometimes it's profound, sometimes it's gibberish, but it's always about comics ... let's see what we get this week!

What? This week's reviews ...

This week I wanna talk about Wonder Woman.

Sure, there's tons of interesting things going on with gods of Greek (Phobos, son of Ares) and Norse (Loki, master of mischief) origination, there's chuckles with Deadpool (the last two pages are still funny, later in the week, and "White Lightning" is just a freaking scream) and even, finally, a reveal on the new, weirder Cobra Commander (horrible visual design, incredible characterization in how he's been built up). Even Optimus Prime and Ultimate Frank Castle were of interest.

However, Diana of Themiscira's plight haunts me. She's part of DC Comics' trinity, relentlessly powerful (remember when she couldn't fly?) and capable of amazing feats. Unfortunately, her supporting cast is at best uni-dimensional (quick: name three character details about Steve Trevor ... thought not) and her rogues gallery wavers between laughable (Dr. Psycho, a homeless man's Hector Hammond), bland (Veronica Cale, a poor man's Lex Luthor in high heels) and (again) uni-dimensional (Genocide).

She actually suffers a lot of the same problems Marvel's T'challa does as a character: dangerously powerful, not a white male (thanks to Tom Brevoort for going on the record about that), from an isolated warrior culture that could probably be a serious threat to the established order if they were so inclined, often considered too much of an outsider by factions of their own people, historically unlucky at love (Ororo notwithstanding), a member of the royal class, dancing a delicate line between politician, ruler and hero. However, T'challa has at least style on his side: if he shows up with two hot girls, a limo, a black suit and sunglasses, he can play on the sensibilities of Blaxploitation movies or even Avery Brooks. Diana, by the very nature of her "mission" to "man's world" is mostly a solo act, and if she gets into a good looking ensemble, all people will think is "cheesecake" and "that'd be impractical in a fight."

One afternoon, with just a smattering of help from Tax Hitler (we didn't know him as such back then) I came up with a pretty good Wonder Woman arc with Comics Waiting Room columnist Vince Moore. It wasn't even that hard -- once we settled on the fact that we could be as much West Wing (we can take a smart, talky comic) as V.I.P. (I liked the girl with the shoulder holsters, shut up) we were on a role, creating a real means for Diana to experience conflict for a reason, bringing in two under-utilized DCU characters as secondary antagonist of very deep complexity, and even involving Giganta, Oracle, Donna Troy and even Wonder Girl without making any female character a victim, a moron, a pin-up or a damsel in distress. Maybe one day we'll pitch it, but even spitballing, we theorized that (our "nobody" status notwithstanding), DC would never go for it. Too ambitious, too far from fanboy sensibilities, too Aaron Sorkin for its own good.

We may pitch it anyway some day. Who knows?

That notwithstanding, I'm bothered that a writer I've met and know is freaking brilliantly talented -- Gail Simone -- can't make Diana interesting (to me). According to some figures, the title pulls down a none-too-shabby 25,000 sales per month, however that still ranked 78th and even there below Catwoman, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, tyro Joe the Barbarian, Batgirl (not even cool Babs Batgirl or "I learned to communicate with violence" Cassandra Cain Batgirl, but Stephanie Brown Spoiler blonde Batgirl) and an inch above Archie.

If Archie almost kicks your butt and you're one of DC's top three most recognized characters, it's time to figure something else out.

Maybe the new Chief Creative Officer (I swear I don't have anything against the guy, even though I was told he had the idea he was gonna shove me, laptop in my bag and all, into the waters behind SDCC a few years ago, which would have ended in gunfire) has some overwhelming plan and will one day make some changes. Maybe Gail Simone (who has literally never missed for more than a couple of pages on Secret Six ... which also ranks way above Wonder Woman in sales, by the way) has some secret reserve of ideas that'll bring the character into something that's not so lame (she pals around with teenaged talking gorilla commandos, dude).

I'm not holding my breath.

So that's what was on my mind this week. Enjoy.

Playing (Music): "A Capella" Maximus Baxter dub step remix by Kelis (courtesy of First Up