Director's Commentary on The Buy Pile for October 29, 2009

Director's commentary for The Buy Pile this week? Sure, why not?

Dark Reign: The List - Wolverine: I have to admit, I've been a fan of Noh-Varr since the Morrison/Jones mini-series, and I don't really think he's been properly utilized since. Well, except here. Since Fantomex is another Morrison creation, they have a great natural synergy, and that's good stuff. Plus, their personalities (as Jason Aaron shows) can work well. I could imagine a team-up mini-series with these two, maybe even a movie franchise. All I know is, I'd love to see more of them working together, especially since Noh-Varr essentially doesn't have anything else to do with his time. I will admit, I was bothered that there wasn't a bigger public notice of one of Osborn's premiere "heroes" going AWOL, but whatever.

Astro City: Astra Special #2: Same basic comment as always: "more please!" Another world I would love to just walk around in, as rich and as well-developed as Fables, in its way. I have no idea why Busiek and Anderson don't just live in these stories -- financial reasons, probably, but I honestly don't know -- but I never want them to stop. Aw, that just made me miss Top 10 a little, since it felt the same way.

The Incredible Hercules #137: I can't say enough about how much I enjoy Amadeus Cho. He's like a precursor for Destiny from Genius where the line between "hero" and "villain" for the character is often hard to find, much less choose a side. Moreover, for Marvel, between Amadeus Cho and Jimmy Woo, Marvel is putting together some pretty happening Asian characters. Like Cage almost stopped embarrassing me all the time, too. I won't beat the "creators of color" drum given that Greg Pak was given a free hand here, but it hangs in the back of my mind.

Jack of Fables #39: ... honestly? I need this series to be funnier. I still like it, I'm liking the almost Noh-Varr vibe I'm getting from the new Jack Frost, but the "funny" counterpoint to the "serious" Fables was a perfect balance. Still really good, but not quite there yet.

Nova #30: This series and Guardians of the Galaxy are so close almost every month. In better economical times, it'd be easy to just lower the bar an inch and let 'em in. Darned global economic downturn! I like the development of Richard Ryder as a leader of men, almost as much as I love Jack Flag in space (who'd have thought that guy'd get a Geoff Johns-style revamping?).

Other notes:

- Osborn needs a plan. He's king of the hill, but even he must see how precarious it is. His own son almost messed it all up.

- I get the feeling DC hates me personally and is making these books intentionally to contradict my tastes. That's delusional, I know, but I can't dodge the feeling. Especially after Ambush Bug went so wrong. I'm a die-hard Ambush Bug fan, and a Giffen devotee since the 80s, so if you lose me there, that says a lot.

- Remember when Vertigo was cool? I should send them a pitch for their crime line. Except I remember one of their big editors cowering away from me like I was a mugger when I went to say "hi," before even saying my name. Meh.

- I wish Boom! Studios would just collect all these little minis they use as movie pitches. I'd much prefer 2 Guns (for example) as one chunk.

- I'm kind of mad this is the first we're hearing of Dr. Gregory Stark. More please.

- I'm ignoring the Douglas Ramsey short story that popped up in my heads after reading New Mutants. I am. Shut up!

- Remember when Ms. Marvel was good, right after Karla Sofen took on the role? Those Storytellers ... man, they screwed things up. If they're the deus ex machina. that unseats Norman, I may have to travel to NYC and throw up on Marvel's front porch.

- Seriously? Franken-Castle? Remender, sorry, that's wholly wrong. Punisher doesn't need a rogue's gallery. He shoots people. It's sometimes funny, like gallows humor. Don't mess with the formula.

- I never thought I'd say I hate anything done by the genius behind Nightly News and Pax Romana, but Jonathan Hickman's Fantastic Four is a tragedy. Not in a good way.

- I really hope you'll pre-order The Untamed from Stranger Comics, a dark fantasy story about how an unscrupulous man facing purgatory seeks vengeance against his enemies, yet he is conflicted with the hope of redemption and salvation in the eyes of his daughter. It's in Previews right now, pages 285 and 286 SKU #OCT091072, and is beloved by both Watchmen producer Lloyd Levin ("What's not to love about Jones and Bertging's THE UNTAMED: it's a Sergio Leone, Frank Frazetta, William Blake fever dream mash-up. And that's just where it begins!") and master of horror Clive Barker ("THE UNTAMED promises to be an epic tale, conceived and crafted not only with a great love of comics, but also a profound understanding of the power of visionary storytelling"). Yes, I'm a shill for them. I do it because I believe in the product and the creators. You go now!

Handle it.

Playing (Music): "Paparazzi" by Lady Gaga

Golden State of Mind

New Yooooooork!
Concrete jungle where dreams are made of,
There's nothing you can't do,
Now you're in New Yoooooooork!
These streets will make you feel brand new,
the lights will in-spire you,
Let's hear it for New York, New York, New Yoooooork

There are few cities more storied and more ingrained in western consciousness than New York.

... big city of dreams ...

The basis for both Gotham and Metropolis,⁽¹⁾ lauded by Sinatra and Kool G Rap, it's the home of most of Marvel's superhero fiction, the site of a laundry list of TV shows and Dick Clark inaugurated every new year of the Cold War, live and broadcasting the cityscape to homes around the world. Just saying the words -- "New York" conjures up images of mob bosses and marathons, hot dog carts and high rises, subways and sewer grates, all embedded in endless vistas of blacktop and bustle. Big city of dreams, and all that.

However, I live in Los Angeles,⁽²⁾ which is a city steeped in an identity crisis. Most of what the world sees of Los Angeles is often rarely even within the city's legal limits: the beaches of Santa Monica, the Malibu mountains. The glitter-strewn streets of Hollywood⁽³⁾ even have their own mayor, reluctant to be considered, reluctant to be considered part of the city itself. Oh, when you see crime and riots and Black people, that's Los Angeles for certain, but that normally only gets labeled "South Central" and marginalized, as if some giant wall separated that part of town from everything the TV would rather you see. Heck, even lauded writer Warren Ellis once called Fullerton a suburb of Los Angeles.⁽⁴⁾

... broadcasting live from Los Angeles

Ask people about New York and you'll get easy answers to what it is. LA? Not so much. Is it the glamour of Beverly Hills (its own city, BTW) or the squalor of Watts? Is it the Latin flavors of Eastern Avenue or the African American tastes of West Boulevard?⁽⁵⁾? Is it the decaying infrastructure of downtown or the neon gaudiness of the Staples Center environs?

That's the hard part: it's all of those things at different times to different people and none of them. The movie Crash⁽⁶⁾ tried to capture this and took a good swing, but like Beyonce might sing, "it's too big, it's too wide, it's too strong, it won't fit." Which is why my current conundrum is such a concern.

People from Rochester to Hempstead have claimed Jay-Z and Alicia Keys "Empire State of Mind" as an anthem, a rallying cry. Which is cool! It's totally awesome, and it's an amazing song despite Shawn Carter's lackluster delivery⁽⁷⁾ given the anthemic production of Al Shux, Janet "Jnay" Sewell-Ulepic and Angela Hunte (sampling "Love on a Two-Way Street" was even smart, as the title gives you concrete ideas from the get go) paired with the soaring vocals of Keys herself. It's an amazing piece of work that grandmommas are singing along to.

That ain't right ...

Listening one day, I thought, "What about Cali?"

My brain reeled at the fact that there's really not a California anthem that can stand up to that kind of scrutiny, Tupac notwithstanding. A song that electrified the populace and captured the zeitgeist, equal parts classic instrumentation and modern day swagger. The fact of it made me sick, honestly, so I started thinking: who could signify⁽⁸⁾ for if not Los Angeles, the entire state of California that way? Who can make an anthem for the Left Coast and call it "Golden State of Mind?"

I started at the basics: the music. Dr. Dre. Nobody else even deserves to be considered, sorry to say, given the overwhelming combination of his musicianship and his notoriety. If you're gonna do it for everybody, you'll need Dre. His star power outshines the musical sounds from the east. Check.

The doctor is in ...

Then I thought about who would rap on such a track? Snoop's from Long Beach, so he's out. Aceyalone has the brains but not the name. Too Short has the legacy but not the talent nor the versatility. Planet Asia's not a big enough name. Crap ... then I remembered. TV show? Movie roles? Bridging the gap between backpack rap and street sounds, from his work with Ras Kass to his work with Dre? Let's get Mister X to tha Z, Mr. Black Bruce Willis, Xzibit on the microphone!⁽⁸⁾

The Golden State Warrior

Okay, Dre and Xzibit, that's not bad. But you need a vocalist and you have two LA area people already. Who's a Cali vocalist who ... wait a second ... check the TV show part again, necessary to get into the minds of people around the country, okay. Vocal chops are rough but relatable, sometimes called this generation's Mary J. Blige. She's from the Bay Area too ... Keyshia Cole. There you go.⁽¹⁰⁾

Keepin' it 'hood

So: Dr. Dre on the track, Xzibit on the verses, Keyshia Cole on the chorus and riffing. That's freaking amazing! That could work! They have to pick a sample that'll be fast enough and bass-driven enough to play to Dre's sensibilities while pulling at the memories of Black people everywhere. Xzibit will have to capture the cultural, social and economic diversity of the city, something he can do if he's in the mindstate he was when he worked on songs like "Wild Pitch" or "Los Angeles Times."⁽¹¹⁾ Keyshia ... she's gotta sing her behind off, on some "Love" level wailing, get sisters acting an idiot when they try to reproduce it. It has to show the distance and the claustrophobia, the simmering racial tensions and the laid back sunshine vibe, the balance of the world watching but nobody really seeing the truth ...

... so ... what do we have to do to make this happen? Let's get to work!

Playing (Music): "Amsterdam" by Mick Boogie and Peter, Bjorn and John feat. Evidence, Fashawn and Jerreau

FOOTNOTES:

(1) = Admittedly, now people say Gotham is essentially Boston, which is cool by me. Hard luck city, hard scrabble, sure. But after driving in both, the claustrophobia of Gotham CIty art is all Manhattan -- the crappy parts where you're checking over your shoulder a lot.

(2) = I am from Memphis, but I recognize the limited appeal -- even in a Tennesee-wide urban anthem like the "Stay Fly" remix -- of working with other areas. Outside of London, there's only a handful of English-speaking cities with the personality and hook in western consciousness that could hope to gain this kind of mental mindspace, and Chicago's not ready. I'm sorry. Yes, one day, Kanye, Twista and John Legend will get it together and create the best Chicago anthem ever. Not today. Let's move on.

(3) = They actually installed this glittering stuff in the streets and sidewalks, so it sparkles as you walk through. Which doesn't offset the homeless people or the urine or the thrown away Popeye's bags, but it's something.

(4) = He was writing about his Desolation Jones series, which took place in LA like Star Wars takes place in "space." He set a story in the city of Fullerton (a full 30 miles away from most LA locales) and on his Bad Signal mailing list, calling it an LA suburb. I emailed him and called him on it, and he blocked me because he felt I was too worked up about it. I still respect a lot of his work, but he's kind of a douche sometimes.

(5) = I always thought it was funny that "West" was west of "Western." Maybe it's just me.

(6) = Maybe I'm shallow, but the series just never catches my attention, Dennis Hopper or not.

(7) = He's always been a better writer than performer in my mind. I believe the same of myself, honestly.

(8) = Xzibit was even part of a group called Golden State Warriors with Ras Kass and Saafir. No idea why that never became anything, but I somehow suspect Chris Mullins had something to do with it.

(9) = Yes, I considered The Game for a minute, but the skill levels are close (I'd give X a slight edge, honestly) and the notoriety of Pimp My Ride trumps everything else.

(10) = If I could think of a famous enough Latin singer -- male or female -- from California I'd go with them, honestly.

(11) = His pre-Dre period, I'm sorry to say, is his richest creative time.

Blog Fu: Clan of the White Lotus

Let's start off with a little of the comic brilliance of The Bloggess, shall we? She has another fun phone call with her saint-like husband Victor ...

Victor: Hello?

Jenny the Bloggess: Good news! The snow cone machine works.

Victor: Oh yeah?

Jenny the Bloggess: Yeah. Turns out all the outlets in the kitchen stopped working.

Victor: Huh. That's ...not really good news.

Jenny the Bloggess: I know, right? I have to take the snow cone machine into the bedroom to make snow cones. It's like we're living in the f***ing wilderness.

Victor: No, dumb-a**. I mean, it's not good news that none of the outlets in the kitchen work. Is the refrigerator running?

Jenny the Bloggess: I'm not falling for that.

Victor: It's not a f***ing joke. The fridge is in the kitchen with the outlets that don't work, right? Is it still working?

Jenny the Bloggess: Oh. Yeah. That's where I'm getting the ice for the snow cones. But none of the other plugs work. But you know, actually? It's kind of nice having a snow cone machine in the bedroom. We should probably get two. One for the kitchen and one for the bedroom. We'll be like rap stars. Except instead of stripper poles we have snow cone machines.

Victor: Don't call me anymore.

The two of them and their phone conversations alone are enough reason to read her blog, a centralized hub for her work. From the innocent G-rated wonder of her motherly columns about her daughter to the raunchy sex column she writes, she's a masterpiece of madness in text, delivered for free. She's complicated and hilarious and probably terrible to know as a person. But with the wonderful distance of the web, she's a dream to enjoy.

* In "It's either us or them" news, a pack of raccoons mauled a 74-year-old Florida woman. Seems like the posse of mammalian miscreants were loitering on her lawn. She tries to shoo 'em off and all of a sudden it's a bad horror movie from the 90s. "We're not talking about a lot of little bites here," Sheriff Grady Judd said. "She was filleted." Dayum!

Fun fact: said pack of rampant raccoons is still on the loose, being hunted by animal control and even fire crews. I know I'm wrong for finding this funny, but I did.

* Despite my sadism, there's a lot about pain that isn't funny. Like what? Like this: "Chronic pain shrinks brains." For real. People with chronic backaches have brains as much as 11 percent smaller than those of non-sufferers, scientists reported in 2004. They don't know why. So freeing yourself from pain is a freakin' survival imperative, so you don't diminish your own capacity. It also means that direct sadism, purposely making people feel pain, is even more cruel. Which, sadly, some will enjoy.

* In "this is really unrelated to the old lady mauled by raccoons" news, studies show women getting less happy as years go by. I have anecdotal evidence supporting and refuting this information, but I personally feel I lack the estrogen to comment cogently on this finding. I just noted it and kept moving.

* This one I can handle: Prisoners getting drunk on swine flu gel. Prison officials in England tried to protect the criminals under their charge from the alleged global pandemic, and in response, said convicts decided, "this stuff's like booze, let's get drunk!"

Being in prison is hard. Few would deny that. But to be so desperate for a buzz, some kind of release, that you'd drink soap? Man, don't get the book thrown at you in the UK, apparently. Wow. Moreover, how much did the guy have to down to find visibly drunk people? Nobody noticed this? Scary.

* I've talked a lot about why I'm in love with the new Nokia N900, despite the fact I've never even gotten my hands on one. There are so many reasons why, but the coolest? Hooking it up to your TV and playing Super Nintendo games. Koopa Troopas from my phone? Hooked up to my TV? Connected to the internet at 3G speeds? While talking on Skype because I cancelled my minutes because making a VoIP call is just as easy as a regular call? While listening to Big Boy on Power 106 on the built in FM radio, before switching to some of the 16GB worth of music I can store on the mini SD card? Then changing over to watch Hulu because it can see even the most current versions of Flash? Or maybe watch AVIs, MP4s and WMVs? Did I mention the onboard image editor? The 5MP camera with a Carl Zeiss LED flash that also records 25 FPS video in 848x480 resolution? The fact I can probably install Open Office the day I get it, and edit M$ Office documents without giving Massa Gates a cent?

HOLY CRAP!

I'm not even mad at the price anymore. A phone that can do all that deserves to cost almost seven hundred dollars. Done deal. No problem. Wow.

* Here's what I want, though: a robust community developing stuff for my phone, like the iPhone has. Like a projector, play music or software to process credit cards or even for my bank to let me cash checks with my phone.

Admittedly, I don't want the phone to be hackable by text message but I don't expect much of that on a Linux machine. Yes, I'll be installing a firewall. I get down like that.

* This is just funny to me:

* While we're in post-racial land, this Newsweek article notes that all of the cheery liberal white attitudes towards racial tolerance are failing like Sidekicks after Micro$oft bought Danger (couldn't pass that up, since my T-Mobile service works fine). Kids learn to discriminate far earlier than we think, and mostly (the research shows) happens with white kids.

* One of my continual disappointments with what we're laughingly calling the future is the limpness of high speed connections for the internet. Did you know all of Africa is connected to the internet by what amounts to one long extension cord? How bad is that? We can convincingly recreate the Shroud of Turin and pigeons are faster than broadband messages!!!!!!

Prices are also ridiculously exorbitant, which is totally not cool. This might be starting to change with even internet buses traipsing around central Africa and giving away access. But this is not the shiny jetpack future I feel the species deserves. The nineteenth century still holds sway over much of the globe, and the hurdles to get them even into the 20th century is overwhelming. Aluta continua and all that.

* At least Ghana can have a female king. Now that's progress!

* To be fair, it's not so much better for much of the "civilized world." A new survey showed that the broadband in the UK is "not fit for the future," and of the top 10 countries listed, none of them speaks English as the main language. None of them. That means no US either. You can get all of Culver City to have wi-fi, but that doesn't help most of Montana or Murfeesboro, Tennessee or swaths of Rhode Island. The future wants us to come on board, but we're only doing it in slivers, like cowards.

* At least the Saudis are fighting that fear, even a little bit. They realized that their religious dogmaticism wasn't helping them stay in the game, so their massive new science university not only allows female students but gives them some freedoms (while on campus) that they cannot enjoy anywhere else. Talk about an incentive to study! "Noor, get your homework done, and one day you can walk in public without your veil, feel sunlight on your face, and not be worried about getting stoned to death!" You can't limit who plays and expect anything new to happen, kids. Remember that.

* At my job, I had twelve brand-new, unopened blueberry mini-muffins in one of the common fridges. Somebody stole them, while also stealing a co-worker's lunch, his fork, an empty tupperware and his lunchbox. I ended up posting this IRL but it has yet to become true. I now keep my muffins in my car. I'm slightly sad about this.

* This next link is not safe for work, but Sh** My Dad Says is the new Texts From Last Night in terms of being funny. I laughed so hard at this when I found it. It's like Red Forman has a Twitter feed and no network censors. Stuff like this so remind me of the tough love roughness of my great uncle that I was laughing and nostalgic, all at the same time. I am so grateful for stuff like this.

* My only complaint here? Why'd he have to be Black? Come on, dude ... I just hope the accusers were all female. Let's just move on ...

* There's so much wonderful new stuff in this story about water being found on the moon that it's almost more than I can stand. First of all, one of the researchers from the University of Maryland-College Park is named Jessica Sunshine. How awesome is it that a woman named Jessica Sunshine is working on data about the moon? That's just hilarious to me. Second, the idea that there's something wholly new happening there. "It's not liquid water, it's not frozen water and it's not gaseous water, OK? It's none of those things," Sunshine says. "It's not your grandmother's water on the moon. It's a completely different mindset. You sort of have to throw out everything you think of by that phrase."

A whole new state of matter. How freakin' cool is that? You lived long enough to see a whole new damned well state of matter discovered, and it's close enough to see, almost with your naked eye. Nothing has changed but your perception of things. How freaking cool is that, dude? I love it.

It's even weirder than how much water is there (Sunshine estimates that scraping off all the water molecules from a part of the lunar surface the size of a football field would yield less than a quart of water. "And it could be a lot less. I think our understanding is not great," she says), and given the discovery of more water on Mars and even new thinking about how Mars became red, the universe is much different than our parents could have ever believed. That's a wonderful thing to see, even with muffins getting stolen.

* Finally, two comic book-related things. First of all, Chuck Xavier would be proud to know something I always suspected: all humans are mutants and there is no baseline. Which would probably make super hero social networking much more normal. Weirdest to me? Why would Victor von Doom accept a friend request from Reed Richards? You know he wouldn't have sent one! That's weird!

Anyway, that'll hold you for a while.

Playing (Music): "Chopped and Screwed" by T-Pain feat. Ludacris

The Class War: Mumia > Polanski

The facts are these:

I begin with a simple equation, a concept so apparent in my mind that I consider it irrefutable:

Mumia Abu-Jamal > Roman Polanski

In case you're as bad at math as I once was, let me clarify: the events, circumstances and ramifications of the life of Mumia Abu-Jamal -- noted activist, part-time cab driver, journalist, radio personality, news commentator and broadcaster -- are more important in every possible way than the events, circumstances and ramifications of the life of Roman Polanski -- film director, producer, writer, and actor. Why? Well, that's showing your work on the equation, but I'll try to brush up on my math skills and work it out for you.

Mumia Abu-Jamal pled his innocence but was sentenced to prison under the death penalty during a time when COINTELPRO⁽¹⁾ was in operation at what was arguably the height of its powers. He was targeted, he was harassed, he was railroaded and he is slated to be assassinated by the state for the overwhelming crime of politics and racial advocacy. There are people who believe Mumia Abu-Jamal was rightfully and fairly convicted of murdering Philadelphia police officer Daniel Faulkner. Those people are incorrect. People around the world recognize him as a political prisoner, and his continued incarceration is an insult to every person of African descent from "a land that never gave a damn about a brother like me and myself, because they never did," a point inelegantly expressed by the overly passionate Kanye West with Mike Myers⁽²⁾

Roman Polanski pled guilty to "unlawful sexual intercourse with a minor" and then fled the country to escape prosecution.⁽³⁾ He was not a subject of oppression nor of undue political pressures -- he was rich and well-liked and a member of Hollywood's gliteratti before that became something tawdry and TMZ-ed out. There are people who believe that extenuating circumstances excuse not only a then 44-year-old man sticking himself inside of a 13-year-old girl⁽⁴⁾ and then fleeing justice to live, rich and happy, in his multiple chalets in other countries. These people are incorrect. People around the world recognize him as a talented film maker who humped a child, and his continued flight from justice is an insult to every person in the US who has actually had to be arrested and go through the criminal justice system like a normal person without an international community of enablers to advocate on their behalf.

What has Mumia inspired? What has Polanski inspired? Weigh the two, on the long scale, on the overwhelming scope of human history.

I reiterate, Mumia > Polanski. Consider that proven.

Therefore, I say that any discussion of Polanski's case -- its sordid details, its politicians wringing their hands in indignation or outrage or whatever they think their constituents want to see -- be tabled until Mumia Abu-Jamal's case is settled beyond all reasonable doubt, as it has not been as of now. Moreover, before we get to Polanski, we'd have to settle Leonard Peltier, Donovan Jackson, Malice Green and so many other people who have been done wrong by the US "justice" system and the overwhelming dis-service done to them. He'll be fine. He's in jail in Switzerland, they're very nice people.

I've had people -- irresponsible people, I believe -- try to argue the "merits" of the case against Mumia and the case for Polanski. I've also seen stuff like this and people who believe that the earth is 4,000 years old. I lump all of those people together in my mind: evolutionary dead ends, the shallow end of the gene pool, unworthy of being called "human" or "sentient" let alone conversing with normal people. The Crazification Factor.

Let's speak of them no more.

But let's deal with what's important and stop indulging conversations about what's not.

Playing (Music): "Heard 'Em All" remix by Amerie feat. Lil Wayne

FOOTNOTES:

(1) = COINTELPRO isn't even denied anymore. There's not even a "dude, sorry for oppressing everybody who tried to make things better for your people." Not even a gift basket for the murdered activists. That's cold, joe.

(2) = The one from Austin Powers, not the one from Halloween.

(3) = So he not only admitted guilt to one heinous crime, but he committed a second to dodge being punished for the first. Sweet.

(4) = These facts are in evidence, even through his own admission. Even R. Kelly stopped to deny doing some crazy isht.