Commentary Track for December 24th Buy Pile Reviews

Before we get started, I wrote a blog last week about (among other things) my problem about "Blackest Night," and somebody might come looking for it. Lemme look at my noted here ... crap, can't read my own handwriting. Somebody with a ... "tod complex?" "bod complex?" Something like that. Anyway, that's here, so good luck with that.

At the time I'm writing this, I don't have a link, as the column won't post for a few hours (it's 3:58 AM). However, I had to write about something important (well, as comics go) ...

Clash of the Nutjobs

Shown here are "Sally" (the school teacher some know as Adam K. and the comics retail clerk I routinely call little girls names) and a lawyer who'd probably prefer to keep his name out of all of this craziness.

Anyway, the lawyer (let's call him Counselor, for argument's sake) believes that Namor needs to flap those ridiculous little wings on his ankles in order to fly. Most of the people at the shop (and likely the world) believe that's crazy -- Namor flies because he's a flying mutant. He thinks he can fly, therefore he does. Flapping the wings makes no difference.

This argument was allegedly settled early this year when Vince Moore (another retailer at the store and a writer/editor/columnist/man about town) pulled out some John Byrne-penned "proof" that Namor was a delusional nutbag and could fly irrespective of his ankle wings. However, The Counselor's further research found Vince's "proof" to be as factual as Obama's claims that he didn't campaign for a public option and the "verdict" was overturned.

Thanks to a ruling from store owner, Steve LeClaire, the Counselor has until the end of 2009 to present his case to a quorum of comics fans and "authorities" at Comics Ink or he shall forever be shunned and mocked.

Next Wednesday, Diamond Comics and UPS can't get their act together and no comics will ship. Only one new comic book will be on sale in US shops -- some "Blackest Night" book. However, at 5PM, on the corner of Overland and Braddock in Culver City, CA, The Counselor will present his case to either emerge covered in triumphant glory or derision and shame.

Unless a new baby appears sometime around then, I will be there, serving likely as a jurist.

So there's that. Now, commentary about this week's comics:

I was shocked to see Marvel dominate both the "super crappy" and "not so bad" sections simultaneously, which is quite a feat and normally needs event comics to accomplish. I like the work of so many of these writers -- Fear Agent from Remender, Jonathan Hickman's amazing work on The Nightly News, Pax Romana and Transhuman, just for example. But this stuff ... it's really scary how bad it is. That means any good writer can turn in crap. That's frightening. I've gotta work harder at my stuff ...

Also, "Necrosha/Blackest Night?" I need the Armageddon/Deep Impact stuff to not happen, 'kay?

Now, a quick bit on Unknown Soldier. Despite the fact that the writer's dead to me now, the graphic novel was freaking amazing, and really redefined the property. However, sending this property -- which had heavy US ties in its mythos -- to an African country with no clear goals nor direction ... well, that's always been a bit weird to me. The whole reason the graphic novel worked so well was that the Soldier knew who he was and why -- an instrument of policy, a tool to achieve goals. This guy seems to have more of Christopher Chance's malaise (as presented by Peter Milligan) and that's ... hard to catch up with. I'm always interested, because (even though there are zero Black creators on this book -- sigh) Black characters in comics are always going to at least get my eyebrow to raise with interest.

However, on charm, I can't say enough of how much I enjoy reading Amadeus Cho, who's a morally gray character who feels no real desire to choose sides. I can relate to that. Heroism or villainy depend on mood and what's happening that day. His pairing with the "scoundrel" styled charm of Hercules could only be topped by a Layla Miller or Valeria Richards. I really hope to see more of the character as the years go on, maybe even some mentoring from Jimmy Woo.

Now, as I have the day off and would like to actually do some writing for myself for a change (as well as Audio Hijacking all of my favorite songs from The Sing Off), I bid you adieu. I will report back from the Namor showdown next week, and as always keep an eye on The Operative Network for baby news.

Playing (Music): "Popular Demand" by Lupe Fiasco